A note for the Spiders in my Tongue
webs plotting graphs in my taste bud —
the last time god fell into my mouth,
i was still learning the syllables in ha-lle-lu-jah.
the last time i meant love, mother used to
serve me kisses as breakfast. webs plotting
graphs in my taste bud — my tongue
is a room abandoned by love. there are
spiders in every corner. every corner is a memory.
every memory is a mandible piercing the vein.
hold the mandibles to your vein,
& if i say testify, tell me, how red is the pain?
i return to god today. a note in my hand.
& i will write: in this poem, i will scripture
my life into an ellipsis, elohim, toss me through
every phase — not too approximate, that i won’t
become another funeral. not too distant, that,
i won’t be become history.
i will exhale & watch a dirge discolour
into a psalm. i will tidy up my tongue & leave
scars in god’s ears. i will decorate my mouth
with a plate of fireflies, turn back to the eclipse
of my life — the very genesis. & i will say
let there be light
webs plotting graphs in my taste bud —
i will turn an elegy to a birdsong. i will turn a spider
into a butterfly.
He(‘s)tory
in this poem, the boy is black & white —
a monochrome too blur light doesn’t
permeate his body. you’ll bring a candlelight
into this poem in search of him,
but, the fire will haunt you into a dilemma.
where you’re stuck between darkness &
ashes. & there’s no point manufacturing
bleak metaphors. i am too young for language.
i bath with lime water. lay bare to ruin &
watch every preadators’ tongue pummeling
my body recede as a blue song. i am still learning
the geometry of my body. how i can be a hypotenuse
leaning on the wall of grace. standing on a solid rock.
forgive me, if i taste of religion; i never meant to
toss myself into a shallow grave. i rise into an
assembly of clouds — a rain, the size of a sea.
i sink like a stone — a body that cannot absorb
healing. that cannot stay afloat. my innards
yearning for light as caves do. this poem is the history
of a boy — come. come darling & change these
metaphors
Illustration : Suman Mukherjee